Readers reply: can you acquire courage?

The long-running series in which readers answer other readers’ questions ponders how to overcome fear and do what is needed

This week’s question: what would be the most socially useful way to spend a billion dollars?

Is it possible to acquire courage if you don’t have it? I was moved by the recent story of the Australian boy who swam to land for several hours in rough waters to raise the alarm that his mother and siblings had been swept out to sea. Despite his exhaustion, he then ran several kilometres to find a phone.

But I’m also thinking of the lesser demands for courage – such as standing up to a friend, or family member, or tackling a company that’s ignoring your polite requests when you’re suffering from its actions. Or I also wonder how people do certain jobs that, to me, require buckets of courage: starting a business or any other sort of professional risk-taking; reporting from a war zone like Lyse Doucet or Jeremy Bowen. Or just being a police officer knocking on the door of a suspect and not knowing what is on the other side.

Published: February 15, 2026, 2:00 pm

I thought my powerlifter father was the strongest man in the world. But a secret steroid addiction took him – and us – to the brink

He didn’t look like a stereotypical ‘drug addict’, but when he fled to South Africa with all our savings it was obvious that is what he had become

When I tell people that a drug addiction nearly killed my dad, I know what most of them are thinking. Heroin. Crack. Maybe meth or ket. Those substances that steal your soul and slowly wreak havoc on your body. They’re imagining Trainspotting; too-skinny frames and protruding hip bones, the physical effects of addiction that are impossible to miss.

But that isn’t how it played out in my family.

Published: February 15, 2026, 12:00 pm

Facing meltdown? Over 75% of people suffer from burnout - here’s what you need to know

Does it only affect weak people? Is work always the cause? Burnout myths, busted by the experts

Once, after surviving yet another round of redundancies in a former job, I did something very odd. I turned off the lights in my room and lay face-down on the bed, unable to move. Rather than feeling relief at having escaped the axe, I was exhausted and numb. I’m not the only one. Fatigue, apathy and hopelessness are all textbook signs of burnout, a bleak phenomenon that has come to define many of our working lives. In 2025, a report from Moodle found that 66% of US workers had experienced some kind of burnout, while a Mental Health UK survey found that one in three adults came under high levels of pressure or stress in the previous year. Despite the prevalence of burnout, plenty of misconceptions around it persist. “Everybody thinks it’s some sort of disease or medical condition,” says Christina Maslach, the psychology professor who was the first to study the syndrome in the 1970s. “But it’s actually a response to chronic job stressors – a stress response.” Here we separate the facts from the myths.

Published: February 15, 2026, 6:00 am

‘You think: Do I really need anyone?’ – the hidden burden of being a hyper-independent person

Self-reliance is often encouraged over asking others for help in the modern world. But doing everything yourself can be a sign that you are scared of intimacy

When a relative was seriously ill and in intensive care for more than a month, Cianne Jones stepped in. “I took it upon myself to be that person in the hospital every single day – chasing doctors, taking notes, making sure I understood why they were doing things.” It was so stressful, she says, that at one point her hair started falling out, but she ploughed on.

It was Jones’s therapist who gently questioned whether she was going to ask for help. Jones laughs. “The hair falling out didn’t suggest to me that I needed help, it was somebody else looking in and saying that.” She has a large, close family who would have helped immediately – and did, once Jones asked – it’s just that it didn’t occur to her to ask. “I had taken that role on: ‘I’m just going to get everything done.’ I just took off, and that was it.”

Published: February 15, 2026, 5:00 am

I took up paddleboarding in my 60s. Now I feel calm in the water and strong on land

It was a wobbly start. But every time I haul my paddleboard out I feel my balance and confidence improving

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At 66, I don’t feel old but, according to my grandsons, I’m ancient. While I’m reasonably active and walk most days, articles about ageing well hit home. Walking isn’t sufficient. I should be doing something about my strength, balance and core. Five-minutes-a-day routines may work for some but I know that I’ll start with good intentions and soon give up. I’m not one for going to the gym and yoga has never been my thing.

The answer is in my boat shed. It’s a paddleboard I bought for fun a few years ago. I was a total beginner; a friend gave me a few lessons. Then several floods turned the Hawkesbury River, where I live, a foul brown and my board has been sitting in the boat shed, unused. Then winter got in the way.

Published: February 14, 2026, 7:00 pm

My husband has started a friendship with a woman he used to work with. Am I right to be worried? | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

It’s possible this is a platonic relationship, but your concerns are valid and your husband isn’t providing any reassurance

My husband and I are in our 60s. We have been married for 40 years, some of it happily, some not so much. Our children are grown up and gone, and we have recently retired. Some of our tensions over the years have been around my husband’s tendency to be undermining and belittling. He claims not to understand why I might find certain things upsetting, yet refuses to engage with couples counselling (apparently I would tell lies). We have muddled through and mostly get on well now, though he dislikes most of my friends and siblings, and won’t socialise with them. To be fair, he is self-contained and doesn’t seem to need friends in the way I do – he has one friend.

A few months ago, an ex-colleague got in touch with my husband and asked to meet for coffee. They met, had a long lunch, and my husband mentioned a few weeks later that they were arranging to meet again as he had enjoyed the catchup. I was a bit thrown. I found it odd that she couldn’t confide in her partner or friends, but my husband exploded and we had one of our worst, most vicious arguments in years. He accused me of not wanting him to have friends (the opposite is true) and threw up the fact that I have platonic male friends; true, but my male friends and I go back 30-plus years and we don’t meet one-to-one. This just feels a bit out of character and potentially inappropriate.

Published: February 15, 2026, 6:00 am

No swiping involved: the AI dating apps promising to find your soulmate

Agentic AI apps first interview you and then give you limited matches selected for ‘similarity and reciprocity of personality’

Dating apps exploit you, dating profiles lie to you, and sex is basically something old people used to do. You might as well consider it: can AI help you find love?

For a handful of tech entrepreneurs and a few brave Londoners, the answer is “maybe”.

Published: February 15, 2026, 7:00 am

California’s billionaires pour cash into elections as big tech seeks new allies

As Gavin Newsom departs, ultra-wealthy flex wealth and influence to fight regulation and keep the boom going

Tech billionaires are leveraging tens of millions of dollars to influence California politics in a marked uptick from their previous participation in affairs at the state capitol. Behemoths such as Google and Meta are getting involved in campaigns for November’s elections, as are venture capitalists, cryptocurrency entrepreneurs and Palantir’s co-founders. The industry’s goals run the gamut – from fighting a billionaire tax to supporting a techie gubernatorial candidate to firing up new, influential super political action committees (Pacs).

The phenomenon squarely fits the moment for the state’s politics – with 2026 being the year that Politico has dubbed “the big tech flex”.

Published: February 15, 2026, 1:00 pm

The problem with doorbell cams: Nancy Guthrie case and Ring Super Bowl ad reawaken surveillance fears

Many people bought the devices thinking they would do little more than protect their delivery packages

What happens to the data that smart home cameras collect? Can law enforcement access this information – even when users aren’t aware officers may be viewing their footage? Two recent events have put these concerns in the spotlight.

A Super Bowl ad by the doorbell-camera company Ring and the FBI’s pursuit of the kidnapper of Nancy Guthrie, the mother of Today show host Savannah Guthrie, have resurfaced longstanding concerns about surveillance against a backdrop of the Trump administration’s immigration crackdown. The fear is that home cameras’ video feeds could become yet another part of the government’s mass surveillance apparatus.

Published: February 14, 2026, 6:00 pm

US military used Anthropic’s AI model Claude in Venezuela raid, report says

Wall Street Journal says Claude used in operation via Anthropic’s partnership with Palantir Technologies

Claude, the AI model developed by Anthropic, was used by the US military during its operation to kidnap Nicolás Maduro from Venezuela, the Wall Street Journal revealed on Saturday, a high-profile example of how the US defence department is using artificial intelligence in its operations.

The US raid on Venezuela involved bombing across the capital, Caracas, and the killing of 83 people, according to Venezuela’s defence ministry. Anthropic’s terms of use prohibit the use of Claude for violent ends, for the development of weapons or for conducting surveillance.

Published: February 14, 2026, 4:15 pm

Brushing fraud: Britons told to beware of mystery parcels as new scam soars

Fraudsters use stolen personal details to send out products, then post a fake verified and positive online review

A package arrives but you can’t remember ordering anything.

When you open it, you find some cheap, flimsy jewellery.

Published: February 15, 2026, 7:00 am

What is dart frog toxin, which is said to have been used to kill Alexei Navalny?

Epibatidine is about 100 times more potent than morphine, and derived from frogs native to South America

• Russia killed Alexei Navalny with frog toxin, UK and four European allies say

Epibatidine, the dart frog toxin Britain says was used to kill Alexei Navalny, is about 100 times more potent than morphine.

The extremely toxic, nicotine-like substance was first derived from the Epipedobates genus of poison dart frogs native to northern South America – which are not found naturally in Russia.

Published: February 14, 2026, 9:12 pm

Weight-loss race: how switch from injections to pills is expanding big pharma’s hopes

Tablets could make treatment more mainstream, with sector predicted to be worth $200bn by end of the decade

“I just felt slow: I want to be able to do anything my kids want to do and not have weight be a factor. Even a ride or a water park – things have weight limits,” says Melody Ewert, 44, from Minnesota.

Ewert has just switched from Eli Lilly’s Zepbound weekly injection to Novo Nordisk’s new daily Wegovy pill. Analysts believe the arrival of easy-to-take tablets could push weight-loss treatments further into the mainstream in a year that has been described as “pivotal” for the booming anti-obesity market. The new pills, like the jabs, mimic the gut hormone GLP-1 that regulates appetite.

Published: February 15, 2026, 12:00 pm

Four new astronauts arrive via SpaceX rocket at International Space Station

ISS now fully crewed after a medical issue forced the evacuation of four astronauts in January

The International Space Station (ISS) returned to full strength with Saturday’s arrival of four new astronauts to replace colleagues who bailed early because of health concerns.

SpaceX delivered the US, French and Russian astronauts a day after launching them from Cape Canaveral.

Published: February 14, 2026, 8:43 pm

Are we hard-wired for infidelity?

Monogamy may be held up as an ideal, but evolution has other ideas

Most of us know people in committed relationships, even lifelong marriages. And we also know stories about relationship transgressions, of partnerships tested or broken by infidelity.

As an evolutionary biologist who studies sex and relationships, I’m fascinated by these two truths. We humans make romantic commitments to each other – and some also break those commitments by cheating.

Published: February 15, 2026, 12:00 pm